Last year, I ran out of milk.
I agree, it's a pretty innocuous event and one that hardly deserves to be written about. Let's be honest, it speaks more to my poor organisational skills then it does to being the catalyst of life changing events. However, my adulting genesis story began the morning I ran out of milk.
Let me set the scene.
It was about 8am and I had just finished doing some form of workout which consisted of contortions on a gym ball whilst lifting dumbbells in the hope of acquiring the body of a Victoria Secret Angel. I poured my granola into a bowl and when I went to the fridge to retrieve the milk the bottle was empty.
I had ice cream in the freezer. Ice cream is just solid milk. So, I added ice cream to my granola. I took a photo and proudly tweeted my efforts.
Two days later this happened:
I went from calcium crusader to "reluctant grown-up".
I honestly thought that ice cream was a perfectly acceptable replacement for milk and, I had unleashed some ingenuitive problem solving on the situation. I thought of myself as the Sherlock Holmes of cereal. Instead it was labelled a "ridiculous attempt at #adulting". The internet told me my attempts to salvage the most important meal of the day had actually slaughtered it... I was a cereal killer, if you will.
How did everyone else know not to add ice cream to their granola? How had I missed that life lesson? Was it my parents' fault? Should they have passed that knowledge on to me? Or, was it something I should have been taught in school? Am I honestly the first person in the world to replace milk with ice cream?
I could beat myself up about my lactose ignorance but, the thing is there is no "How to Guide" when it comes to being an adult. You don't just wake up on your 18th birthday automatically knowing how to vote or do your taxes or not add ice cream to breakfast cereals.
Instead we just have to figure it out along the way. For some of us it might take longer than others and we might slip along the way but, at the end of the day we're just trying to make milk.